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"Then I saw that there was a way to hell, even from the gates of heaven."
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Mr. Doessuke's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, October 11th, 2007
11:08 am
Five finger crawl.

I was wondering why I haven't listened to Danzig in awhile and it hit me.

I miss you, buddy.
Friday, August 31st, 2007
12:20 pm
Sunday, August 5th, 2007
11:47 am
Was on vacation.
Yeah. Well.


Comic books are here.

Want one, email doe138@gmail.com
Tuesday, July 17th, 2007
6:01 pm

Visit and comment.
Sunday, July 15th, 2007
10:52 pm
Some of this may come off as making no sense, if you only know me from this blog.

One of my friends passed away this weekend. People in my wretsling circle will instantly know what this is about. Otherwise, you can just read or not read.

It's kind of hard to write when shit like this happens.

I really don't have anything to say other than life is a fucking mess. It always will be. You cannot predict it and you cannot change it and all you can do is try and make it as far as you can.

What can I say that will make anything OK or normal for any of you?

There are no words.

I just want anyone reading this to know. I am not so far away that you cannot reach out and talk to me. Maybe I can help you. Maybe I'm like my friend said I was. Fucking yoda talk, he always said.

I feel like I lost him a long time ago. That I can be an obstinate asshole and pigheaded and write people off. But that's just me.

Right now, I want to reach out and be...as lovable as I can be.
Sunday, June 10th, 2007
3:19 am
a story about woe
My stomach hurts.

I start a new job June 18 for ronin advertising. I'll be doing what I do, but in a hopefully healthier, saner way. That involved an hour both ways to work. But whatever. That's why they make satellite radio and mix tapes. And an iPhone. Maybe. I mean, I think I am becoming a demographic. I want an iPhone and a new Mustang. Next thing, I'll be going after skinny blondes. Um, no. Not that.

I haven't slept all week. Kris's sugar crashes at night. Norris eats my fingers. Noah calls me with Scarface trivia. It's a lot to handle.

I feel pushed and yet drawn to a new adventure of discovery. So I'm working on that. I went to therapy and the guy wanted me to pray with him. This was somewhat disconcerting. I will not be going back. I will try and do it again, but somewhere else.

Wrestling, who the fuck knows. That's what I say. I'm in Detroit for AIW soon. And that's been really fun and a nice bring me back into wrestling. Anywhere else? Your guess is as good as fucking mine, man.

I sign off at 3:24 AM unsure of myself and finding myself slowly OK with questions not having answers and things leaving themselves to make sense years from now.
Monday, June 4th, 2007
9:13 am
Change is on my mind a lot. I'm about to announce a major change professionally Monday, if all works out, that will definately leave my entire life changed. A different traffic pattern, new things to learn and also, at the same time, a return to where I come from in both physical and career. I hate being so obtuse but really I love it. I'm just trying to take this ship and steer it to some shores that are friendlier.

I am starting another activity on Monday to try and make this boat ship shape. You can be alive 34 years and still realize you have to learn to make things evolve and get better. And just because it seems easier to throw things away doesn't mean you have to and you don't have to break all of your toys.

This is all leaving code inside here so that someday I can look at this and laugh. "Songs mean a lot when songs are made to be bought." To quote James Shelby Downard, "Never allow anyone the luxury of assuming that because the dead and deadening scenery of the American city-of-dreadful-night is so utterly devoid of mystery..." That's what I am hunting and looking for. Hope and magic.

I have a two year plan to make comics happen. I don't know how far along I am on that two year plan. I am just desperate to leave something behind for the world and for people after me. I am needy to treat people right and be treated the same way. "Museums are like cemetaries," quote Jodoworsky when lost for what to say. My characters are all me, even the ones that cut their tongues out so they can speak the secret language of death...which sounds like knives scraping across half-eaten plates.

I don't want cemetaries. Positive energy brings positive energy. And as a wise person once said, "Everything is going to be OK."
Thursday, May 24th, 2007
3:21 pm
Glad to be posting this
I used to tell everyone that wrestling will never let you down. Girls will. Friends will. Even family will. But wrestling is the one thing that will never fuck you. And well, it learned me. I spent a long time being more bitter than I would like to confess to being. And I don't feel that way any more. So thanks to those that were there to talk me through it. To listen. Or just put up with my shit. Because I'm done being a bitch and ready to do something about it.

"And I stood upon the sand of the sea, and saw a beast rise up out of the sea, having seven heads and ten horns, and upon his horns ten crowns, and upon his heads the name of blasphemy." R13:1
11:58 am
Today is Bob Dylan's birthday
I hope he gets the gift of go fucking himself.
Monday, May 21st, 2007
11:26 am
I'm back
I kicked a valet right in the face then drank her blood.
I threw fire in someone's face.
I shook on the mic.
I'm back and I couldn't be happier about it.
Thursday, May 3rd, 2007
11:58 am
Hey guys
Hey everyone - we go to print this month on the Robot. Fingers crossed all that shit.

Need a favor to anyone who reads this...

There's a contest called Small Press Idol Contest that David, our artist, has entered. Its like American Idol for Comic books, and he made it to the second round, which is open to the public for voting. The winner gets a four issue print run, and everyone who makes it to round 3 is guaranteed publication.

Go to this site, join and vote for him if you can!


Thanks and look for Robot stuff soon!
Wednesday, March 7th, 2007
4:01 pm
Fuck Marvel in the ass
I'm one person. My boycott won't do much of anything.

That said.

It will.

I AM going to write comics, no questions asked.

And I never, EVER will for Marvel.

Fuck them in every direction.

Thank you.
Saturday, January 20th, 2007
4:23 pm
boys and girls in america.

don't bother talking to the guys
with the hot soft eyes.
they're already taken.
dont even speak
to all those sequencer and beats boys.

when they kiss they spit white noise.
white noise.
3:42 pm
Hey, back a few weeks ago when I was a wrestler, I did this interview. Check it out, I say "like" a lot in it.

Friday, January 19th, 2007
10:58 am
She said “You’re pretty good with words
But words won’t save your life.”
And they didn’t.
So he died.

Have fun everyone!
Wednesday, January 17th, 2007
9:30 am
If your iTunes can follow up Disco 2000 by Pulp with All Murder, All Guts, All Fun by Samhain, you are as cool as me. And I don't see that happening for any of you.
Sunday, December 31st, 2006
11:00 am
Harley Magic Tsuruta Lane Panico (July 15, 1998-December 31, 2006)
Harley went to sleep this morning at 7 AM. He's buried in the side yard. Thanks to everyone who visited him, talked to him on the phone or said nice things. I only had him 2 1/2 years, but he was my best friend. I have a hard time getting close to people and that little cat found a way. Which is crazy, in the ring and in life, I project such a different image. I'll open up for once and I say that I can't have kids, so he was my son, too.
Saturday, December 30th, 2006
10:17 am
Harley is home, for now. He had a good heart report. One side isn't working but the other side is. He will be on medication now. However, he has not had anything to eat or drink since he came home, so I will be taking him back today. I didn't sleep all night because I was checking on him every couple of hours. I ran a vaporizer for him and read him some gossip papers. Thanks for everyone who sent nice things about Harley.
Thursday, December 28th, 2006
1:24 pm
Hey, everyone. A lot of wrestlers know my cat Harley. He's in the hospital right now and has 48 hours to get better. I don't like doing these public displays. I don't need replies or anything, I just would like all of you to think of him. I'm going out to see him now. He has a big buildup of fluid in his lungs and his heart may give out. I just want to see him in case he goes. Sorry to be a softy, but I am very close to this cat. Thanks.
Wednesday, December 27th, 2006
4:45 pm
My favorite songs
These aren’t in any order, but are all dedicated to Bob Dylan, who said there hasn’t been a good album in 20 years.

So anyways, here you go, with comments as I feel them.

Hamoa Beach by Gomez

Phantom Limb The Shins
This album isn’t even out yet. That’s how ahead of you I am.

Bandwagoneers by The Dears
I think it’s funny that Morrissey dissed them. As he should. Fucking kids. Of course you shouldn’t be allows to look into his eyes.

Wildcat by Ratatat

Here It Goes Again by Ok Go

Level by The Raconteurs
This was hard, because there were so many good songs on this album. What he really needs to do is go back to ruining people’s lives, beating up bands and having a shitty drummer.

Lust In The Movies by The Long Blondes

Rise Up with Fists by Jenny Lewis with the Watson Twins
I can give you two great reasons why I like this song.

I Want You Soo Hard (Boy's Bad News) by Eagles of Death Metal

Lived In Bars by Cat Power
I am still afraid of her newfound non-craziness.

Small Parts by The Oohlas

Let's Get Out of This Country by Camera Obscura

Nobody Move Nobody Get Hurt by We Are Scientists
Extra points for cats on the cover.

Brother by Murder By Death

Catastrophe by Rainer Maria
Then they broke up.

Hang Me Up To Dry by Cold War Kids

Le Disko by Shiny Toy Guns

Destroy Everything You Touch by Ladytron

Four Long Days by Voxtrot

Just Drums by Tapes n Tapes
Again, there were like 10 great songs on this.

Juicebox by The Strokes

Cobrastyle (feat. Mad Cobra) by Teddybears

The Funeral by Band Of Horses
It was either this or Great Salt Lake.

A Pillar of Salt by The Thermals

Chillout Tent by The Hold Steady
My favorite song of the year.

Too Much To Ask For by Radio 4 3

Redneck by Lamb of God

Black Swan by Thom Yorke

The Zookeeper's Boy by Mew

Wolf Like Me by TV on the Radio

Alive With the Glory of Love by Say Anything

Young Folks by Peter Bjorn and John

Mushaboom by Feist

Rollercoaster by Sleater-Kinney
And then they broke up and I cried. And cried.

Lazy Eye by Silversun Pickups
Seriously, this is like if Smashing Pumpkins didn’t get popular after Gish.

Bullets by Editors

Worry About It Later by The Futureheads

Light Pollution by Dirty on Purpose

Thursday by Asobi Seksu

The Lottery by Emily Haines & The Soft Skeleton
So the girl got stoned because she was pregnant. That’s the short story. This is a song. Sorry to spoil it.

Standing in the Way of Control by The Gossip

Let's Make Love And Listen To Death From Above by CSS

Dimension by Wolfmother

Cheated Hearts by Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs

This Isn't It by Giant Drag

Tear You Apart by She Wants Revenge

Knights Of Cydonia by Muse
Check out the video. It’s fucking the best.

Searching For The Ghost by The Heartless Bastards
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